The more you try to force reality, the more it’s going to feel like pressure to the guy friend and the more he’s going to shrink away from you and guard himself.He’ll stop feeling like he can trust you and he’ll start feeling like he’s a target for your own personal conquest.Sure, maybe you weren’t drawing unicorns and rainbows with his name surrounded by hearts in your notebook, but you are definitely a strong believer that you’re “meant to be together.” As romantic as all that sounds, it actually damages your chances for success in actually starting something.Let’s look at why: To put it quite plainly, you want something that simply is not reality.You never know if your true destiny is to meet your perfect man by accident… Open your options up so that you know that you’re not dependent on just one option. I almost feel evil for saying it, but for some guys just seeing that he might lose his shot with a girl can be all he needs to snap to attention and reconsider his feelings for you… Worth noting, but in this case don’t make this your focus.
That may be hard to swallow, but when you think it through it’s pretty clear. However, the fact that you’re reading this tells me that you probably have already tried that or you’ve looked and there’s nobody else who’s impressed you as much as this one guy.
The less he actually knows about her, the more he can fill in the gaps with his own fantasy.
It’s an illusion, but illusions can have tremendous power. MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You The solution here and the first step to getting out of the friend zone in general: Let’s keep talking about the damaged goods scenario though and why it can be a major trap if you don’t catch yourself. You yourself have been a victim to your own fantasies and dreams about what you two could be together.
2) He knows he can put up a front and the new girl will buy it… But with you, you what he’s still struggling with … Sometimes a guy just wants a vacation from himself and his problems.
Sure, these arrangements usually end up melting down (maybe in a week, a month or a year), but during that time he gets to postpone dealing with his issues and can numb his pain with a simple girl who doesn’t unearth any skeletons … 3) The new girl had the advantage of a fresh “mystique” – that is, he doesn’t know anything about her and she put up a dazzling image that completely seduced him.
You get to see him as the man he truly is – an unguarded version of himself that he hides from the world and only seems to let you see. So why, in the midst of this seemingly perfect situation, aren’t you any more than friends?