Personals dating transwoman
The transgender community is a massively diverse group with all kinds of body types, genital configurations, personalities, hobbies, and relationship styles.
To categorically exclude all people from that group, who would otherwise align with your sexuality (trans men for a straight woman, trans women for a lesbian woman, etc.) is not only missing out on many potential connections you could have with people who you would otherwise have a wonderful time dating, but also reinforces the oppressive social system that says transgender women aren’t “really” women because they were assigned male at birth, and vice versa for trans men.
Before we talk about how that sentiment alone is transphobic, I want to be direct about the fear that trans people, especially trans women, face in the world of dating cisgender people.
Dating as a trans woman (online or in person) often means an exhausting stream of inappropriate, fetishizing, dehumanizing, and sometimes violent messages asking about my genitals, people expecting praise for fetishizing me, and others assuming my identity is either not authentic or repulsive in some way.
This gets even more complicated when trans women are trying to date straight cisgender men.
These interactions (usually beginning online) can quickly lead to defensiveness as they backpedal to explain how they aren’t gay, usually including insults and slurs that dehumanize me for even daring to list myself as a woman.
But, on the other hand, we also punish trans women who aren’t “pretty” in the context of a cis-centric media landscape by saying that they “look like men”, they aren’t worthy of respect, can’t work a service job, can’t be in visible media roles, are complicated to provide healthcare for, and more artificial barriers created for trans people.
Some of these things can be dismissed as annoyances or just well-intentioned people being ignorant, however, such a sliding scale of transphobia can sometimes slide all the way down to justifying the murder of trans women with comments like the ones made by comedian Lil Duval recently on New York’s Power 105.1 FM radio show This is also an important time to remind you that in 48 states, it is an admissible, legal defense in a courtroom to say you were driven temporarily insane by the revelation that a trans person is a trans person.Many well-meaning allies, friends, and family members of transgender people will say things like: “Well, I’m glad that Sara is living her life out loud, but I just don’t think I could ever date a trans person.